Saturday, January 15, 2011

Signs that Your Friend is in Love

It is an adventure when you fall in love but it is an undefined excitement when your independent, self-sufficient, level-headed, practical, sought-after, single-for-too-long best friend falls headlong. Here are some pointers, my experience, that are sure-shot signs of love in the bloom.
Love Myspace Cliparts

>>> She is awake and energized even though there is no exam and it is 0400 hours with her work beckoning at 0900 hours. Even after the phone call is done with, she lays awake looking at the ceiling with stars in her eyes and replays the conversation another thousand times in her head. And she won't be really tired as she goes into work all bright-eyed and excited.

>>> She smiles too much and too often. There just can't be anything that wipes that smile off her face or her singing insides. She doesn't know or care how sappy the smile is. There rarely is anything or anyone that can put her off. She is in the clouds. The sparkle in those deep eyes, they become brighter than ever.

>>> She can't wait to tell you all that's going on. She can't go through it fast enough, even while the blush creeps in, and that thousands-watt smile glows. And she can't hold in her happiness any longer. And while you struggle with the mundane trying to make time, she wonders for a moment about misplaced priorities, love should always be first on that list (as she'll waste a single sentence telling you that), before going back to dreaming and smiling through the day. 

>>> Oblivious to her surroundings, you have to repeat yourself at least three times while talking to her to make sure she has heard everything. If, of course, you weren't inadvertently talking about him.

>>> If you do start talking about him, well, you won't be able to talk about anything else for quite some time. And if you were not talking about him, but something that on the off-chance reminded her of him, well, you are stuck. If she politely (long odds of it) doesn't veer off the conversation towards him, you can be assured in her head she indeed has veered off, that repeating three time will also not be enough.

>>> Social networking isn't the thing it used to be. Oh, others will not know but you know she is not there the way she used to be. Appearances are just maintained but she's elsewhere altogether. Everything she loves has taken a temporary backseat, or a hurried look-over only, in light of the new overwhelming sensations coursing through.

>>> She has stopped hounding you as frequently as she used to. The calls, the pokes, the catch-ups, the numbers dwindle and you wonder. She hasn't forgotten you, obviously, but she is enthralled by all that that's happening to her. And there's only that much time, even without getting any sleep!

And you know You are her best friend, when you know the love for you is shared between you and the someone new, but is not split into two, never diminished. And you know, you love her to bits, as a smile breaks through when you think about her being finally happy! As happy as she deserves to be, and more.

And even as you think about how lucky the guy is, you swear to yourself that you'll break his teeth, all the 206 bones, and put him in a wheelchair if he ever dares to mess with her heart.

P.S. This post says to my best friend, I love you too and I'm happy too, but of course in my own maverick way. Love, G.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

To the Musician of My Life

You never thought about Greatness
It never mattered...
You only ever thought about the Music
That was the only thing real, the only thing that was.
And that's when I discovered the Greatness. In you.

Nothing needs to change...

Let your love for and the faith in Music play on
And let my conviction in your Greatness achieve its heights...

You don't have to listen to me,
Pretend that you didn't hear me,
Laugh in your silent, adoring way
The way you do every time
When I talk about Greatness and You.
You don't have to believe in what I say

I believe what I saw in You...
What I still see in You every day...
It is enough for the Music, the Music you will make to be Great

I believe in what I saw in You when I fell in Love...
I know nothing about Music,
But I know You.

Love, Guria

P.S. Guria is the name by which he calls me. And no else did before. I write here for me but because of him, and that's why Guria writes this blog.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Catharsis Part IX: New Beginnings

Even as I typed the title of the post, I was marveling how deep and true the words I was writing were.
A new year. A new blog. A new way of life. A new me.
Like clockwork, the way it is supposed to be, 365 days come to an end marking a new beginning, a new that is so predictable and yet isn't. All alone, cooped up by choice I spend the day alone, with nothing but my laptop and a messy room. Wondering not what the new year will bring, but what I will make out of the new year. It is always ever in our hands.
A new blog address. Against much procrastination but the dormant lust for my own domain, I finally went ahead and got my own... It seemed apt. I really think of myself as "the Misfit Girl". I remembered Shruti of Hits and Misses who was the first ever to call me that.
And a new life. A few days of the recent past, I was alive. And to go back from that to the usual mechanical grind, it needs courage. Depression beckons me. And I fight harder. I'll not let loneliness and melancholia take me over. I am not me for nothing!
But it is odd how time runs so fast when you want it to slow down and how time stretches when you really want it to zoom by. Or is it human fallacy again?
Work is the only solution. After all it was the primary reason. And I want no time to think, no time to let the clog in my throat or the burning in my eyes overwhelm me.
Another new year. Yet another new beginning. And another chance!
Let it be worthwhile. Let it be remembered for all the good nei great things in spite of all that I am without.

P.S. It is only here that I can cry and not be ashamed. For no one knows there are tears albeit dried ones.